You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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