i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
