I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
