I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
