hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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