Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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