yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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