I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
