her vagine was all disorganized.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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