Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
