So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
