Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
