Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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