Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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