Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
