Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
