You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
