How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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