i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
