ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
operation harelip BJ is a go
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
