the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
