I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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