well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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