Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
