i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
