I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
vagina is talking i cant
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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