I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
