That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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