I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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