PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
