I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
