I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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