4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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