After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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