3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
