Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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