This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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