Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
PANTIES FOUND
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