He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
