I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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