sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
