I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
