the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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