Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
