toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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