The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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