Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
