I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
