god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
