who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
