that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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