You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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